The relationship broke your heart, took away your confidence, and shook your faith in men and love; but the break-up almost killed you. It was one of those relationships that are so intense they leave you feeling exhausted and empty after being with him. But when you are together, you feel more alive than ever before. The moments you were with him, were the moments you lived for. There was really no rhyme or reason to it. He wasn’t prince charming. He didn’t wine and dine you. And he was average looking, at best. But still, there was something about the way he made you feel that was like a drug. He was your drug, and you became hopelessly addicted to him immediately.
You now understand that the reason you fell so hard for him was because of how hard he seemed to fall for you. The relationship was never healthy. And you never felt completely at peace during your relationship. But the way he took every worry and fear you may have had, right out of your head when he was around, made you feel like you could have gone on like that forever. And you probably would have, had he not left you as suddenly as he came into your life.
That was a very dark time and you don’t remember much about it, except for how much it hurt. It seemed like you would never feel happiness again. You couldn’t imagine ever loving anybody the way that you loved him, even though, to this day, you still cannot really pinpoint what exactly it was about him, as a person, you loved.
Fast forward two years later and you are now happily involved in a healthier, but less intense relationship. You are comfortable with your new guy. He may not make you want to give up everything to be with him, but he is there when you need him and he makes you feel good about yourself. As far as you’re concerned that’s good enough for you. Then, out of the blue, you find out that your old flame is trying to get in touch with you.
A friend of a friend let you know that he is calling around looking for you, and asking if you are seeing anybody. Suddenly, you think back to all the times you stood in front of your mirror, broken and crying, practicing what you would say to him, if this day ever came, only to break down sobbing because you didn’t think you would ever see him again. Then you think about the anger that took over where the pain left off, and all the time that you wasted feeling that anger until you felt as though you could kill him.
The moment you had waited for finally came, only to find you no longer waiting for it. Then you are shocked again, only to realize that it’s a good kind of shock. You realize that you no longer care. No longer care enough to be hurt. No longer care enough to be mad. And definitely no longer care enough to give up anything just to be with him. You happily tell your friend to let him know that you are not interested, and it feels good.