Relationships don’t come with guarantees. In fact, nothing in life does. But there are some things we can do to try and give our relationship a fighting chance. Even in the best of situations, things still have a habit of going south for no other reason than it just wasn’t meant to be.
Most people do not have the strength, or the will, to end a relationship the moment they notice that the time to do so has come. It usually takes a little time for our minds to get to the point of overriding what our hearts want. While we wait for this to happen, we are usually miserable. It’s especially difficult when we are not convinced that the relationship is hopeless. What we are convinced of, is how bad we want things to change. More specifically, we want our partner, and their behavior to change.
One of the things that dating and relationships teaches us, is that there is no way to change another person. We can make suggestions, set examples, and nag; but it will not change the other person. What it may change is how angry and defensive they become towards us.
When things between you and your partner get so bad that every interaction you have with them leaves you feeling angry and frustrated, you know it’s time for a change. One way to ease yourself out of a bad relationship, and at the same time make things better for yourself, would be to change as many things about yourself as you can, while you are still in it
Keeping your mind focused on the part you play in your misery can help you to see that you can do just as much to contribute to your satisfaction. Every time you find yourself thinking; if only they would have a better attitude, or if only they would give you more attention, redirect your thoughts. Instead think about the other places you can go to interact with people who have positive attitudes. Go places where you will get a lot of attention. Stop limiting yourself to only being open and receptive of attention and affection from the one person who will not give it to you.
It’s tempting to keep trying to elicit the reactions you are used to getting from a person, once they stop giving them to you. It almost becomes a competition of the wills. At least, that’s how you see it. They may have other issues that they are obviously putting before your feelings and needs. Remember, you cannot change that. Believe that they do know you are unhappy and not feeling loved. They just don’t see it as being as much of a priority as you do.
It’s possible for you to use this time when they don’t seem to be paying attention, to find yourself, your strength, and your courage, to just walk away. Immediately after you do, you will see that everything will change. And considering the way you were feeling, that is a good thing.