If you only had a dollar for every time you heard yourself tell somebody that you thought they were treating you bad. You wince when you think of the pitiful way you ask why you are being treated this way, and what did you ever do to deserve this. You feel pathetic and weak and no matter how profusely you swear to yourself that you will never allow yourself to be there again, you get sucked in over and over.
There are can be many reasons for you to let yourself be treated with disrespect, or lack of respect, which is basically the same thing. Just as there can be just as many reasons for you to stay in a relationship that makes you miserable and sad. A relationship that pretty much robs your life of any possible happiness.
You not only stay in that relationship, but you do your very best to keep the peace. This means that you don’t rock the boat and you don’t make waves, ever. Not even when you should be causing a tidal wave. You stay quiet as promises made to you get broken. You grin and bear it when subtle, but very hurtful, things are said to you. And you keep giving the very best, you have to give, to a person who does nothing to show you the same appreciation back.
Every time you feel that familiar pang of sadness after yet another disappointment, you are sure you will be strong enough to throw the same ice daggers as were thrown at you. Then you start having second thoughts because you are afraid you’ll become cold forever.
Then suddenly you realize that you really have had more garbage than you feel like swallowing and you realize that you are finally ready to play hardball.
This is the point that you are pushed to that makes you know that things are broken in your relationship and it doesn’t look like they will be getting fixed any time soon. It’s not that you don’t want them to, you’d love for things to be good, you are still willing to work at it. But sadly, it’s obvious that the person you have spent a lot of you time trying to make happy, just doesn’t get it. This is where the realization hits you that, you would rather smash, what remains of your broken relationship, into fine powder dust, than to keep living in it while it slowly takes on water. You would rather break it beyond repair than cling to the hope, that remains as long as there are pieces to put back together.
It’s time for you to say all things that you have been holding in for so long. Say them over and over, in every way you can think of to drive your point home, leaving no doubt about what you’re saying. Make the decision to be unavailable for the meeting that would feel so good for a while, only to make you miserable later. And do something that you know will cause a tsunami. One of two things can happen from here, but either one will be better than what’s been happening.