In the minds of most people, fiery intensity is closely related to passion. Many couples, whole heartedly, believe that the proof of a truly passionate relationship is how stormy their relationship is. In this backwards way of thinking, how often and how hard a couple fights, is true indicators of their love for each other, and shows their attraction to each other.
It’s true that passion takes on many forms in every area of life, including love. But passion is not defined by how much anger you are capable of showing another person. This is where a lot of people get confused. It can get confusing because the more a person feels for another, the more intensely they will respond to that person, but how they respond is what really defines the feeling they are acting upon.
There are people who are insanely attracted to each other and they do not show it by fighting with them. They show it by being considerate and loving towards them. There passion is not any less flammable than anybody else’s. As a matter of fact these relationships are much closer because there is not the residue of anger and resentment lingering between them, that is often present after nasty arguments.
When people let themselves get carried away by anger or jealousy, they express those feelings by engaging their partner in wars that usually get pretty ugly. After those fights are over, there are always things that have been said and done that chip away at the basic trust and respect that keep couples bonded.
The chips that fall away, after a vicious argument, are small enough to overlook immediately after the fight is over. But over time, they become big holes that leave little room for any real connection between the two people to hold on to. The couples who fight this way rarely see how badly they are damaging their relationship until it’s too late. This is easy to do because they see those fights as just being part of how passionate they feel towards each other, and they go on like nothing happened after it’s all over. But the words spoken in anger linger on in the subconscious until they form ideas and thoughts that are nothing but negative. These negative thoughts are nourished by every stormy fight the couple has, until all trust and goodwill is lost. Soon, like people become immune to drugs, the couple becomes immune to the make up phase of the arguing, and what’s left, is anything but passion.
For the people who have true chemistry and admiration for each other, there is no room for jealousy, disrespect, or put downs. Their passion is sparked by how good they make each other feel. This unity gives them the ability to weather any storm together, with each other, and not against each other.