Some people love their jobs so much that they don’t mind spending most of their time at them. Other people do not, but go every day just the same.
Whether you love your job or hate your job you will eventually form friendships with your coworkers, and even bond with some of them. It is inevitable to become close with people you are in the presence of for several hours a day. But sometimes professional and personal lines can become blurred. There is no harm in eating lunch together, and sharing basic personal information. But if you are dealing with a person who does not know how to respect boundaries, it can get ugly; especially if it’s your boss.
In larger office buildings, things are more impersonal than they are in small offices. Companies with many employees often have a completely separate building for their administrative personal. But smaller companies often have employees who share a very small space, even upper management and the business owners themselves can be mere feet away from each other. This closeness lends itself to problems that nobody really ever sees coming, but once they are there, they are hard to sort out before people get hurt.
Letting your boss get too close for comfort is not a good idea. But sometimes it happens accidentally and snowballs from there. It can happen on a day that you show up for work feeling upset by something that’s happening at home and you unexpectedly let it show. When your boss asks you if anything is wrong, and you spill your guts to him, you have now shown another side to you, one that he may not respect.
Once your boss feels like he knows things about your personal life, he will feel more comfortable taking the liberty to give you his opinions on things and may even expect you to follow his advice. This will put you in the uncomfortable position of following his advice or feeling awkward when he asks you about your situation.
Having this type of friendship relationship with your boss will also open the door for your boss to start feeling more comfortable paying you when it’s convenient for him, and not on your regularly scheduled paydays. It can also lead to your boss speaking to you rudely in front of other employees and expecting you to stay late or do extra work with no extra pay.
There may be no way to reverse the relationship to where it once was, but if there is any chance at all, it needs to start with you. All talk about personal problems needs to stop, even with coworkers. You will need to be willing to set boundaries on how late you will stay and work, and what your pay will be, and when you will be paid. If your boss mentions noticing a difference in your behavior he has given you the perfect opportunity to let him know that you feel it would be better to keep your personal life separate from the office.
If you are not successful in getting back to business as usual, it may be time to start looking for another job.