It seems that we are all faced with the age old question of whether to set something free to see if it was ours in the first place; or hold on to it for dear life so it doesn’t slip right through our fingers.
It is no surprise that this question rears its confusing head most when you go through a breakup. The need for the answer to this question is not as intense when you are the one doing the breaking up. But when you are the one who is sitting by the phone and checking your messages every five minutes, it can be a huge dilemma to sort out.
When you find yourself suddenly single, but you don’t want to be, you might find yourself going through a phase that makes you feel torn. You are going to want to call or see your ex about a thousand times a day. You will swing back and forth between that, and wanting to forget they ever existed.
If you happen to break down and call them to see if they are missing you as badly as you’re missing them, you will probably get met with a reaction that makes you wish you never called. After getting through that very painful conversation, you will be feeling even worse than you did before you called, but to your surprise, within minutes, you will feel tempted to call back. You might think that you can just call to apologize for crossing the boundaries they set, by calling them when you are perfectly aware that you no longer have that privilege. Or you could convince yourself that they feel really bad about being so cold towards you during the four seconds you did have them on the line, and they want to call you to tell you that, but they are just too afraid you will reject them.
Whatever is compelling you to continue to try and invade their space, ignore it until it goes away. It’s pretty safe to say that if they wanted to talk to you and be with you, they would. Even if they are thinking about you, and maybe even missing you a little, it doesn’t mean that it’s enough for them to want to actually still be with you. But if there happens to be even a glimmer of hope for you with your ex, staying as far away as possible is the best thing you can do.
By staying away, and that means no phone calls either, you will give your ex the chance to miss you, or forget you. And it will give you the chance to find out if your absence is making their heart grow fonder, or if you are, out of sight, out of mind.