There is a very clear distinction between the things we need and the things that we want. That distinction only gets confused when we make it that way.
People have a way of convincing themselves that something or someone being in their life is something they need. In all actuality, we do not need other people to live. There are, of course, some exceptions to this rule, but the exceptions do not exist in the context of romance.
It can be a romantic idea to imagine that you would die without the one you love, or that they would be unable to live without you. But the truth is, neither one of you would die without each other. Some people feel like they would rather die than lose the one they love, but they have never died, so they can’t be absolutely sure about that.
Once we blurry the lines of necessity and desire, it can seem impossible to get clear again. If we allow ourselves to go on in our relationship while our thinking is not straight, we could even start to forget what is true and what isn’t.
We can start to believe that need and desire are the same things, and this will cause us to put a strain on our relationship that will eventually break it. This way of thinking can break even the strongest of relationships because it screams of insecurity and low self worth. It goes from a flattering statement of love and respect, to a clingy sick cry for help.
Letting your man know how happy he makes you is not a bad thing, unless you secretly feel that you would be unable to be happy if you lost him. Even if you try and keep those secret thoughts of fear and insecurity to yourself, it will be obvious in everything you do.
If you let yourself become so infatuated with the idea of being with one guy that you let your mind believe that you need him, it will be harder for you to gage how happy he makes you.
Putting a man in the category of what you need, and not who you want, is like saying all he has to do is be with you, and you will expect nothing else from him. You are saying this to yourself as well as to him.
A relationship like this usually becomes one sided and unsatisfying, but still very hard to walk away from. It’s a cycle that must be broken so that you can evaluate your true feelings for him, and his for you. Once the cycle is broken, you may be shocked to learn that you no longer want to be with him. What may shock you even further is how badly you allowed him treat you, and the realization that all you need from him, is to be away from him.