You know something’s up when you start finding yourself relating to the guests on one of the daytime shock shows. It is pretty scary when you find yourself stopping everything you are doing in the hopes of getting some useful advice from the host of that show.
After the show is over and you are trying to get your focus back, so you can get back to work, you are more than just a little disturbed to realize that you are wondering if it could be possible that the guy you are dating is gay.
Days and even weeks could pass before you seriously consider that question again, but you would be lying to yourself if you said you were not thinking of it as a real possibility. As you search your memory bank for small clues and signs that lead you to this frightening suspicion, you are shocked when you realize that you’re able to think of many, over the course of the last year or so.
Now it seems that every time you are with your guy, you are looking for any sign that he is gay, but your rational mind almost always intervenes and sets you straight with the obvious reminder, that he is with you, and you are a woman. But then you think back to every television show that you every watched, where there was a guy who was gay, but dated women to try and fight his orientation. You even try and reassure yourself by forcing yourself to think back to every sexual encounter you and he ever had, and find it impossible to believe, that a gay man could, so enthusiastically, have sex with a woman.
In your mind, there is really only one thing to do, ask him. But you wonder how you would ever bring up a subject like that, without completely castrating him, figuratively speaking, of course. But in the back of your mind, you know that couples should be able to talk to each other about anything. But there must be a limit, your mind counters.
Finally, you make up your mind to just observe him, and take note of anything that seems off in any way. If after you have consciously watched for any telltale clues, and you find any that warrant further information, you will bite the bullet, and ask.
To do this, you must first make sure that you are not seeing things that are not there, in other words, don’t look for it to be one way or the other, keep an open mind. Gay men who are covering their sexual orientation are not going to be obvious, so don’t look for obvious clues. Look for things that he would never think you would tie to being gay. Some of the things that you could look for are: his having gay friends, taking extreme offense to off remarks about the gay lifestyle, his nervously making reference to any of his habits or character traits as being gay, him ever mentioning any type of gay experience (no matter how long ago it was), and him not being offended by the idea of having a gay experience. If any of these apply to your guy, ask away.
Lastly, if any of these clues fit your guy, and your gut tells you it’s true, you need to be ready to hear the truth, even though you pretty much already know what that is.