It would seem that envy is one of those emotions reserved for adults. Unfortunately, jealousy rears its ugly head in the company of people in all age groups. There is no boundary that envy will not cross; no relationship too sacred to be immune from its ravages. Proof of this built in survival instinct is sibling rivalry. Kids too young to complete a sentence will communicate and display extreme jealousy against their sibling.
In a perfect world we would outgrow most of our negative inborn traits, and our learned bad habits; but we don’t live in a perfect world and so jealousy lives. Getting mean looks from people who wish they had a body as fit as yours, or a snide comment from somebody who covets your new handbag, is pretty much par for the course. But what about when one of those responses come from someone you care about and thought cared about you? The sting is much harder to shake off, and the anger that follows can seriously damage, or even end the relationship.
Jealousy is not just a reaction to a suspected threat, even though that may have been where the instinct originally came from. It is now evolved to be the negative feeling we allow to grow and fester against anybody who has what we perceive as being something that we cannot have, but very much want. The object of our desire which is possessed by another does not even have to be a thing; it can be something as subjective as a personality trait, or as easy to obtain as motivation.
Feeling jealous of our friends or family is not something we would proudly announce to anybody; actually it is more likely to be something we desperately try to hide. But even with our most focused efforts to hide it, how we feel towards that person, and what they have, will be written all over our faces and evident in everything we do.
A little jealousy at times is normal even when we are feeling it about somebody we love, or a very good friend. Most people manage to let how much they like and respect the person be the driving force that dictates their behavior, instead of letting the jealousy get the better of them. But when the opposite is true there are telltale signs that should not be taken lightly.
True friendship is a safe relationship; you may get mad at each other at times, but there is a difference between that and constantly feeling bad around them. There are no buts about it; a friend does not do things to undermine you in any way, for any reason. Sometimes it can be difficult to tell for sure if somebody you consider to be your best friend is really somebody who you definitely should not trust. One of the first cues you will get is how you feel when you have had any kind of contact with them. If you are a reasonable rational person and yet still feel bad or unsettled after speaking with your friend, but cannot pinpoint where that feeling is coming from; chances are good that they are putting you down, in subtle ways, to make themselves feel better. By making you feel bad they are bringing you down from the pedestal they put you on. Other things to look out for are rude comments passed off as jokes and consistent passive aggressive behavior towards you.