There are forks in the road for every relationship. Sometimes they are easily navigated and sometimes they are not. But when you have come to a place in your relationship where you know that is not going to last for the long haul, you have a decision to make. It may seem that the decision would be easy since you already know what you need to do. But knowing what you need to do, doesn’t’ always mean it will be easy.
Coming to the realization that the person you are in love with is not your forever partner can be just as confusing as it is enlightening. Once you face the fate of your relationship you will notice that all of the little inconsistencies that you were feeling start to make sense. It may not be a happy realization, but at least you will have a new sense of direction. You will also have a relationship to end.
You will most likely feel a little sad and nostalgic for what you once had with the person in your life and a little unsure of how to break things off. This should come as no surprise since you have formed an attachment to them, and it is always difficult, at first, to disassociate from anything we are attached to. But what can come as a shock is the temptation you feel to stay in the relationship, even after you know that it is going nowhere.
Prolonging the ending of a dead relationship has become a new way to break up for a lot of people. It’s also known as slowly fading out. It’s kind of like weaning yourself off of something that has become comfortable and safe. There are some obvious advantages to ending a relationship this way, but there also a lot of reasons it may not be a very good idea.
One of the biggest reasons not to do this slow fade away from your relationship is the other person’s feelings. It may be nice to give yourself the time to get used to the idea of not being together, but it will still blindside the other person. In some ways it also gets in the way of your ability to move on and deal with stressful situations.
There is nothing wrong with giving yourself a little pocket of time to gather your thoughts and feelings before you walk away from someone who has played an important role in your life. But if you keep giving yourself deadlines and find that you have to grant extensions to those time frames because you can’t seem to pull yourself out, you are creating an unhealthy situation for yourself. More than likely, your relationship changed the day you realized it was no longer what you wanted, causing everything that came after to be sort of tragic. Staying around and wallowing in that tragedy could do harm to your feelings of well being and happiness.
If you feel you need some time to make the break, take it, just don’t let the time you take, break you.