If you can so relate to the popular saying “stick a fork in me, I’m done”, when referring to your marriage, you probably are beyond done, you are just plain burnt out. But is it really time to call a divorce attorney? Anybody who has ever gone through a divorce will readily admit it was one of the single worst experiences of their entire lives. The experience can be compared to the pain of childbirth. If you knew before you decided to do it that it would be that painful, you might not have done it, but after it’s over, you are sure glad you did.
Divorce is the equivalent of a legal ceremony to get unmarried, just like the wedding but in reverse. Many people say that they feel married to the one they love way before they actually have the wedding. Some people feel so strongly about this that they don’t see a reason to have a wedding at all. For those who do choose to take the plunge, there is always that comfort in knowing that if things go bad they can get divorced.
The bitter taste of divorce is just one, of many good, reasons to be absolutely sure that a marriage is dead before leaving it. There are a few ways to know if a marriage is dead or if there is still any hope at all of saving it, to gain insight on the condition of your marriage look for the following signs:
One of you is no longer in love with the other. One of the things that set a marital relationship apart from other types of relationships is being in love with each other. This feeling of intimacy and romantic connection is vital to the survival of the marriage. If a rough patch in the road makes it hard to tell if you are in love, usually a few moments of reflection on the subject will bring an honest answer, even if it’s not the answer you wanted.
The desire to do whatever it takes to save the relationship is gone. Both people must be willing to put everything into making things better, or it will not work. Once it becomes obvious that only one of you is still interested in staying together it’s time to cut your losses.
An affair has happened and the one cheating is not willing cut all ties with the other person. The affair did serious damage to the foundation of trust within the relationship and only a serious commitment to regaining the lost trust will bring it back.
Abuse of any kind has taken place and the abuser contributed their actions to the problems in the relationship. This shows that the abuse will continue because the abuser is not taking full responsibility for their own actions.
If just the thought of getting away from the marriage feels like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders and brings a peacefulness that you haven’t felt in a long time, it may be a good idea to take a good look at what you and your spouse are willing to do and not willing to do, to be happier, either together or apart.